"If you cut your nipple off, will it grow back?"

So I'm playing TF2 last night, when, between the chatter of a darling little troll and discussions about the "Elements of 4chan" I hear the following question come through my headphones:

If you, like, cut your nipple off, would it grow back, or would it just be a scar?

LOLWHUT. 

(Aka. Ursulav's "Biting Pear of Salamanca")

Luckily for everyone involved, the people I play with are an intelligent group and quickly provided the correct answer to this most peculiar of inquiries.

"No, man, it would just scar over." "Duh, you would have to, like, steal one." "The body doesn't know how to regrow limbs and shit like that after you're out of your mom's fetus." "'Fetus'?" "I mean uterus. Shut up. You need stem cells." "Oh, so we COULD regrow one now, couldn't we?"

fdgdfgaasdjhk... I love you guys, and technically you are correct, but let's look over why you are correct.

"It would just scar over."
If you were to cut off your nipple, and just let it alone, the area would simply scar over. Nipples, in both men and women, are structurally distinct from the rest of your skin; composed of not just skin, but glandular and fatty tissue as well. If you were to cut it off, you'd only grow scar tissue. Nipple removal is actually a practiced type of body modification in certain communities, though it does carry a number of inherent risks. I wouldn't recommend it.

"Duh, you would have to, like, steal one."
Not totally true, but theoretically possible. There are methods, for example, that spare the nipple and allow women to retain them after a mastectomy. It may also be possible to grow pigmented skin cells that can later be transfer to simulate a nipple after you've lost one.

"The body doesn't know how to regrow limbs and shit like that after you're out of your mom's fetus."
This one is REALLY complicated, and could lead to an entire series on fetal development, but today, we're just going to focus on the body part in question. Until you are 6 weeks old, all humans begin development looking the same, it isn't until that point in time that any male-specific characteristics begin to emerge. So, why do men have nipples? Because women do. After 6 weeks, male fetuses (usually) begin producing enough testosterone to halt breast development.  HOWEVER, if you were to cut off a fetus' nipple (you horrible horrible person, you) it still wouldn't grow back. Just as a fetus' ear wouldn't grow back (seriously, what is WRONG with you?), because...

"You need stem cells."
There are 5 types of stem cells you all need to know about.

1. Totipotent cells can divide to become ANY cell of an organism. Potential-humans are made of totipotent cells until they have become a 16-cell ball. After which the bundle becomes a morula which divides itself into differentiated cells.
2. Pluripotent cells can turn into all three of three different layers of cells which eventually turn into a fetus. I.e. They can become the endoderm (interior stomach lining, gastrointestinal tract, the lungs), mesoderm (muscle, bone, blood, urogenital), or ectoderm (epidermal tissues and nervous system)[Citation], but they can't do jack to help you live in the womb.
3. Multipotent cells can divide indefinitely and can become a number of different cells of the same "type". For example, a blood stem cell can become a red blood cell, or a white blood cell, but it can't become a brain cell. Although, research from as recently as 2010 has shown there may be ways to mess with this.
4. Olgopotent cells can only divide a couple times, but they still have the potential to turn into different things if you push them. (e.g. Bone marrow stromal cells can turn into bone marrow, cartilage or fat cells.)
5. Unipotent cells can only turn into one thing. Livers, for example, can regrow themselves because liver cells are unipotent. Liver cells can only be liver cells.

"So we COULD regrow one?"
What's so great about stem cells? They're toti-and-pluri-potent. With the proper techniques and growing environments, you can goad them into becoming what you want them to be, thus allowing people the chance to grow replacement-bits using their own cells. Ideally, this would mean you could regrow the individual bits of your missing nipple, and put them together to build a new one.

But you know what?

That would be really freaking complicated.

It would be easier to regrow a heart, or an ear. You know, something that is mostly one thing, rather than a structure built of different things. You have to BUILD a nipple.

Sheesh dude.

Just don't cut your nipple off. Ok?

How Nicotine Works

Smell is the sense most strongly linked to memory, and I haven't a single positive memory that smells of cigarettes. All I think of when I smell cigarettes is unpleasant situations, dirty locales and a couple unpleasant people who ruined it for the other decent dudes who just happen to smoke. I'm biased.

Look at this asshole.

But HEY! Enough of that, let's talk about how they actually work.

Definition Time
Tobacco: The plant. First used by the Native Americans, mainly via pipe and mostly by shamans. Then the Europeans showed up and were all "Dude what's that stuff?" and, thinking it was kinda awesome, began growing it. It was pretty damn popular until the mid-1900s when they realized smoking kinda led to people ending up dead.

Winston's pissed 'cus Yousuf Karsh stole his cigar.

The modern stigma against smoking in public has lead to decreased use in the EU and USA, international cigarette sales have actually increased in recent years due to the increased economic strength of asian countries, the perception of smoking (it's still all about being a Marlboro-man and "appetite-suppressant" in many circles).

Nicotine: The chemical compound. In plants it acts as a natural insecticide.

It looks like this.

How it Works

Nicotine is absorbed via the mucus membranes of the mouth, lungs and skin. Most people accomplish this by smoking cigarettes, cigars and pipes, or by chewing dip, but you can also get it through the skin (patches), nose (spray) or eyes (drops).

Once it is absorbed, the nicotine crosses immediately into the bloodstream where it travels to the brain, crosses the blood-brain barrier and begins to bind with acetylcholine receptors.

Now, acetylcholine is responsible for brain/muscle communication and is a critical component in the process of memory formation. This means that despite nicotine's reputation as a calming substance, it's actually a stimulant. So why the reputation? Because slow, deliberate breaths, the kind necessary to properly smoke a cigarette, cigar or pipe, actually decrease blood pressure and heart rates. It's not the smoking that calms you down, it's taking a break out of your day and having a  chance to breathe.

What's more, smoking can lead to decreased amounts of MAO in your brain. This means your risk of psychological illness is increased in the long run, and immediate complications to any existing issues you might have.

This man is not well.

Effects
Nicotine is highly addictive, so much so that it's considered to be on the same level as cocaine, heroin, and alcohol. There are a number of immediate side effects and although there do not appear to be very many negative side effects to inhaling pure nicotine, the long term effects of tobacco use via chewing and smoking include an increased risk of many different cancers, stroke, heart disease and looking like something out of a Ren and Stimpy cartoon.

Or perhaps Spongebob Squarepants.

Even when you're ready to quit, the symptoms from withdrawal (cravings, tension, headaches, irritability...) can literally drive you crazy.

Bottom line?

Don't do it. It's gross.

How LSD Works

It doesn't remain in your system years after you take it. Let's get that out of the way right off the bat. A lot of crap hangs out in your spinal fluid, but LSD isn't one of them. Besides, that rumor is boring anyway. Reality is far more interesting.

Today's topic: Lysergic acid diethylamide.







You heard National Geographic, acid ain' just fer hippies anymore.

First synthesized by Albert Hofmann in Basel, Switzerland on November 16, 1938. Over 23 million people in have done it in the US alone, and the majority of users are white males, 18-22.

...So basically, they're the same demographic as bronies.






How It Works
LSD is cool, unlike the other drugs I've covered so far, when it comes to how the stuff works, we don't actually KNOW exactly. No one has actually looked at what it does to the brain.

(For the record, I volunteer to run this test. Someone give me money, equipment, and a lot of drugs. We have science to do.)

When taken orally, it goes to work almost immediately, and general physical symptoms include obvious pupil dilation and changes in how awake or hungry one feels. After that, effects seem to depend on the individual. Then things get trippy. You think differently, and while you may not see things that aren't really there, you process what you are seeing differently. Your perception of reality, in all senses, is changed until the trip is over, and 12 hours can seem like a lot longer if you think time is running backwards.

In addition to the changes in perception, your thoughts change as well. People report their minds "being opened", thoughts running out of control (for better or for worse), intense introspection (and the occasional analysis and restructuring of their own personality) and even ego death.

Click to embiggen

Therapeutic Uses

• LSD use has been linked to decreased end-of-life anxiety in cancer patients, there are currently no reported negative side effects for it's use in this context.
• LSD has also been shown to be effective in fighting cluster headaches.
• Although there have been claims that LSD use can help alcoholics, these claims seem to have been greatly exaggerated.

How It's Made
Sandoz (now Novartis) used to own the patent for LSD, but they stopped making it, citing a lack of regulation. Pfft. Like that was going to stop anybody. Up until 1965 people could just make it themselves, legally. The How Stuff Works article actually has a really interesting writeup on how to do it.

Basically:

1. Acquire a source of lysergic acid. (Good luck, btw, you'll probably need a DEA license for everything, actually.)
2. Acquire the appropriate solvents and reagents. (It's important to do preparation before cooking, darlings. Every good chef knows that.)
3. Acquire blast shield and a dark room.
4. Make iso-lysergic acid hydrazide.
   
5. Cool it, mix with an acid and a base, then evaporate it.
6. Now you can drop it on things, or dissolve it in alcohol and making blotting paper in delicious Obama flavors. Or you can inject it, like they do in some therapeutic applications, but that's not really necessary, given the extremely rapid uptake from oral ingestion.

And Now For Some Additional Bits

• The CIA once dosed an ENTIRE FRENCH TOWN with acid. They drugged the baguettes. 
• For more of their fun, see Project MKULTRA.
• Dosing an artist had some cool results, too.
• Bicycle day is the anniversary of the day Mr. Hofmann dosed himself with 250 micrograms of the stuff to find out what it would do. The experience was so intense and introspective, that he stated he could not imagine anyone ever wanting to use it recreationally.
• Among those who have spoken highly of their experiences: Steve Jobs, Aldous Huxley (died high), aaaand everyone on this page, this page and this page.
• Also some dudes killed an elephant.

Also, here, have a video of some lovely British gents tripping balls.

I say, Nigel! Pip pip, wot?

And the Rates of Diagnosis Go Boom, ADD- Part 3

With all this talk of how amphetamines work and why Ritalin is such a common prescription, it's finally time to examine the diagnosis itself. What are the actual diagnostic criteria for Attention Deficit Disorder?

According to the United States Center for Disease control's page of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) the diagnostic criteria (DSM-IV) are separated into two categories: inattention and impulsive behavior.

If at least six of the listed symptoms of either category "have been present for at least 6 months to a point that is disruptive and inappropriate for developmental level" then the person in question is identified as having ADD or ADHD. If the majority of the symptoms are from the "inattention" category the condition is "ADHD predominately inattentive type", if from "Hyperactivity/Impulsivity" then "Predominately Hyperactive-impulsive type" and if it's a fairly equal combination of the two it's "Combined type" ADHD.

Oh, you want some examples and quotes do ye? Too busy to visit our friends at the CDC? Ok fine. Here are some excerpts.

Symptoms of ADHD

Inattention

• Often does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
• Often has trouble keeping attention on tasks or play activities.
• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
• Often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions).
• Often has trouble organizing activities.
• Often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
• Often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools).
• Is often easily distracted.

Hyperactivity

• Often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat.
• Often gets up from seat when remaining in seat is expected.
• Often runs about or climbs when and where it is not appropriate (adolescents or adults may feel very restless).
• Often has trouble playing or enjoying leisure activities quietly.
• Is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor".
• Often talks excessively.

Impulsivity

• Often blurts out answers before questions have been finished.
• Often has trouble waiting one's turn.
• Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games).
• Some symptoms that cause impairment were present before age 7 years.
• Some impairment from the symptoms is present in two or more settings (e.g. at school/work and at home).
• There must be clear evidence of significant impairment in social, school, or work functioning.
• The symptoms do not happen only during the course of a Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Schizophrenia, or other Psychotic Disorder. The symptoms are not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g. Mood Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Dissociative Disorder, or a Personality Disorder).

Also of note:

Research suggests that children with difficulty in their peer relationships, for example, being rejected by peers or not having a close friends. [...] Parents of children with ADHD may be less likely to report that their child plays with groups of friends or is involved in after-school activities, and half as likely to report that their child has many good friends. Parents of children with ADHD may be more than twice as likely than other parents to report that their child is picked on at school or has trouble getting along with other children.

(PS. Apologies to the GREAT Bill Watterson for using his art)

Ritalin on, and in, the Brain, ADD -Part 2

In the South Park episode Timmy 2000, the boys, thinking they can get out doing homework, are diagnosed with ADD and immediately prescribed Methylphenidate, better known as Ritalin. Here we see Cartman smacking Kenny with a frying pan in an attempt to defeat a little pink Christina-Aguilera-headed monster which he begins to hallucinate soon after beginning the drug.

Pink monsters (and an unnatural affinity for Phil Collins) aside, it's time to investigate how Ritalin is believed to affect the brain and why it is prescribed as a method of treating ADD.

As I mentioned previously, while initially approved over 40 years ago, and used for decades to treat "distractability, short attention, hyperactivity, impulsivity and emotional lability," behaviors which are viewed as symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It was only in the 1990s when this particular drug rose to fame due to the explosion of these diagnoses.

Methlyphenidate proved to be reliable drug for decreasing the severity and intensity of the aforementioned behaviors, but why? As a stimulant, it seems almost paradoxical.

According to a study conducted by the Brookhaven National Laboratory in 2001, dopamine (as explained earlier) floods the brain about an hour after the ingestion of methlyphenidate. According to researcher Nora Volkow "[...]by increasing the levels of extracellular dopamine, you can activate these motivational circuits and make the tasks that children are performing seem much more exciting." (Emphasis mine)

The results of the PET scans used in the research also seem to indicate that this flood of dopamine suppresses the firing of neurons not associated with dopamine and task and reward pathways. Because the "random activation of other cells" can be distracting, the shut-down of other activity restricts cognition to the task at hand, whatever that may be.

Before

"Look at all the coffee. One, two... nah that's pointless. Why's that one darker?"

After

"I'm supposed to find something here, and the face in the beans at the bottom stands out."

Concerning the matter of the "Highs"and physiological dependency associated with methylphenidate use, Volkow et al. hypothesized the one hour delay time between ingestion of the drug and the achievement of peak levels of dopamine was too slow to create a high.

"We've found that for drugs of abuse to be effective, they must get into the brain very quickly, and for that reason, when injected, Ritalin can become addictive [...] So, it is the speed at which you increase dopamine that appears to be a key element in the addiction process."

One last thing, about Cartman's hallucination, there's actually something to that. In fact, in 2006 the United States Food and drug administration was officially advised to add warnings to ADD/ADHD drugs about the risks of the hallucinations experiences by up to 5% of users.

REEH!

How Methylphenidate (Ritalin) Works, ADD- Part 1

I forgot today's topic because the Portal 2 DLC came out and I got distracted...

That's a lie. It's amphetamines.

Amphetamines are stimulant drugs which work by modulating the effects of neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, especially in the brains reward pathways. One such amphetamine is Methylphenidate, better known as Ritalin.

To understand the special relationship between those that grew up during the 1990s and amphetamines. It is important to examine both the social factors, as well as the drug itself, so let's begin with the latter.

Under normal conditions, dopamine is usually only released when needed (See "How Weed Works"). Before now, we haven't discussed what happens AFTER the dopamine reaches it's final destination.

After the neurotransmitters have completed their function (by attaching to the dopamine receptors and triggering the appropriate neurological reaction) the remaining dopamine is removed from the synaptic cleft by dopamine transporters so the brain may return to normal.

Those yellow guys are the dopamine transporters, their job is to remove the excess neurotransmitters from the synapse and put them back where they came from. They "eat" the dopamine, and "crap" it back into the presynaptic cell so it can be reused later.

However, when amphetamines (here represented by the parakeets) enter the brain, they too are taken up into the pre-synaptic cell by the dopamine transporters. The transporters move them just as they would real dopamine. (This is due to the structural similarity of amphetamines to dopamine.) Once inside the cell, amphetamines move into the dopamine vesicles, forcing dopamine out.

The transporters ate too much and started puking up dopamine.

Now overfull, the dopamine transporters begin to work backwards to force the "excess" dopamine out. In reality, there is no excess of the neurotransmitter, just a lack of space. Having no where else to go, the dopamine binds with the dopamine receptors on the post-synaptic cell. Without any space in the pre-synaptic cell, the neurotransmitters are stuck in the synapse. This causes the dopamine pathways to fire repeatedly. Over-and-over-and-over again.

Bind-release, bounce off the presynaptic cell, bind again.

The result: You get a dopamine high, similar to what one might experience after smoking pot, and it is the calm from this high that "brings down" kids with ADD.

Efficacy: While amphetamines have been shown to improve classroom behavior, there is no evidence to support the claim that Ritalin use improved long-term academic performance, and there are serious concerns about the validity of existing evidence supporting methylphenidate use.

Risks: Commonly noted side effects of Ritalin use include nervousness, interrupted sleep patterns, digestion issues and headaches, but there are other issues currently being studied. Among these, the possibility of stunted growth, and the development of cross-tolerances to drugs like cocaine.

How Alcohol Works

Alcohol is defined chemically as being composed of a hydroxyl group and an alkyl group held together at the carbon atom of the alkyl group. We shall focus only on ethanol, which comes from plants and is the alcohol in "alcoholic beverages"; beer, wine, sch'more schnapps, scrumpy, mead, that juice box you left in your locker for six weeks in seventh grade... Things humans ingest.

As I mentioned previously in "How Weed Works", under normal circumstances our brains produce and distribute inhibitory neurotransmitters such as GABA. These control the release of chemicals such as Dopamine in the system so that the amount being released is appropriate for the circumstances. This system is again represented here by cats and dogs.

And again, this is roughly how the system should operate under normal circumstances:

Inhibitory transmitters prevent the release of dopamine.

Normally, some, but not all, of the available dopamine is being released. Just enough for the brain and body to function properly. The remainder is unable to escape into the synaptic cleft due to the presence of the inhibitory neurotransmitters.

Now, another important neurotransmitter to know about here is glutamate, which is a general excitatory transmitter, and the most common one in mammals. It's released from one cell, triggers the next cell, and continues the transmission of the nervous impulse.

The signal arrives through the nerve to the synapse. Glutamate is present in the end of the pre-synaptic cell, and does not travel with the impulse. 

Triggered by the arrival of glutamate at a binding site, the second nerve fires.

Remember our discussion about synapses? Glutamate is one of the rocks you chuck at your little brother's stupid little stoner-head. The lazy bastard.

Both the glutamate-signaling and dopamine-control systems are interrupted by the presence of alcohol in the body, and it happens quickly. Alcohol's small size allows the molecule to easily cross the blood-brain barrier and begin to interact with the brain almost immediately upon consumption, as it is absorbed in the mouth, stomach AND in your guts.

Unlike THC, which simply prevents the release of the inhibitory transmitters responsible for controlling the release of dopamine, alcohol causes the GABA inhibitors to make them extremely inhibitory, so that little or no dopamine is released.

Elsewhere, alcohol (due to it's size and shape: blame the hydroxyl group) ends up binding to glutamate reception sites. This in turn prevents the reception of glutamate by the post-synaptic cell and as such it never receives the signal necessary to fire, stopping the impulse.

The end result? The whole brain is unable to function properly. The areas which suffer the most however are those related to impulse control and self-awareness (The frontal lobe), memory creation, emotions (both in the temporal lobe) and eventually one's motor skills and the entire limbic system.  You are LITERALLY incapable of acting like a functional human being.

Here's a lovely breakdown from How Things Work:

1. Euphoria (Blood Alcohol Content = 0.03 to 0.12 percent)
   • They become more self-confident or daring.
   • Their attention span shortens.
   • They may look flushed.
   • Their judgement is not as good -- they may say the first thought that comes to mind, rather than an appropriate comment for the given situation.
   • They have trouble with fine movements, such as writing or signing their name.
2. Excitement (BAC = 0.09 to 0.25 percent)
   • They become sleepy.
   • They have trouble understanding or remembering things (even recent events).
   • They do not react to situations as quickly (if they spill a drink they may just stare at it).
   • Their body movements are uncoordinated.
   • They begin to lose their balance easily.
   • Their vision becomes blurry.
   • They may have trouble sensing things (hearing, tasting, feeling, etc.).
3. Confusion (BAC = 0.18 to 0.30 percent)
   • They are confused -- might not know where they are or what they are doing.
   • They are dizzy and may stagger.
   • They may be highly emotional -- aggressive, withdrawn or overly affectionate.
   • They cannot see clearly.
   • They are sleepy.
   • They have slurred speech.
   • They have uncoordinated movements (trouble catching an object thrown to them).
   • They may not feel pain as readily as a sober person.
4. Stupor (BAC = 0.25 to 0.4 percent)
   • They can barely move at all.
   • They cannot respond to stimuli.
   • They cannot stand or walk.
   • They may vomit.
   • They may lapse in and out of consciousness.
5. Coma (BAC = 0.35 to 0.50 percent)
   • They are unconscious.
   • Their reflexes are depressed (i.e. their pupils do not respond appropriately to changes in light).
   • They feel cool (lower-than-normal body temperature).
   • Their breathing is slower and more shallow.
   • Their heart rate may slow.
   • They may die.
6. Death (BAC more than 0.50 percent) - The person usually stops breathing and dies.

When you're high, you think everyone knows, but they don't. When you're drunk, you think no one notices, but everyone knows.

The Journal of Neuroscience reported in April, 2008 that the presence of alcohol in one's system dampened one's ability to detect potential threats and increased activity in areas associated with reward and positive emotions. Although this particular study focused mainly on social drinkers, the activation of these reward pathways indicates that all drinkers have similar reactions in terms of which particular regions of the brain are affected. In alcoholics demonstrate heightened responses in these reward centers, especially when compared to a similar demographic of non-alcoholics.

There are some benefits to consuming certain types of alcohol, like red wine, but only when used in moderation (1 standard serving/day at most) and when combined with a healthy diet. There are no advantages, whatsoever, to getting drunk other than enjoyment, and even then, when you drink to excess other people suffer because of it. Don't drink to excess, boys and girls, it makes me hate you.

Plus, you know, there's always this:

Click to embiggen.